


I'll be Here When You Wake Up

by nightynight



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Body Horror, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Torture, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, creature!felix, it's cuter than it sounds i promise, photographer!chan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-04-12 04:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19124467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightynight/pseuds/nightynight
Summary: Chan runs a fairly popular photography blog of abandoned places he visits. On one trip to an abandoned lab, he ends up coming home with more than just pictures.orChan finds a creature and instead of being afraid, he takes them home because he's way too soft.





	1. A Strange Souvenir

**Author's Note:**

> hey i haven't posted anything on AO3 in 6 months but let's ignore my ongoing fics and post a new one, shall we? i've had this idea in my head for literal years and finally did something with it and i need to post it or imma die.
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTE: the creature is Felix, but Chan refers to him as 'they' in this chapter and the beginning of the next because he doesn't know Felix's gender and doesn't want to make assumptions. and the two links in the story go to images of what those things look like. mild body horror/eye horror warning i guess, but you don't have to click them.
> 
> also i tried really hard to make this fluffy but i can't control my angst compulsions ;-; so it's like a weird middle. it gets really cute i promise dfsjkdklh

The ground crunches under his sneakers as Chan walks through the forest towards his goal. The dirt road, if it could be called that, is overgrown and rocky, but Chan follows it dutifully. Sounds of birds chirping keep him company on his quiet hike, along with the wind whistling through the forest. The air is crisp and refreshing, while the sun hits him when there are gaps in the shade of the trees, warming his face. 

 

He’s been walking for a while now, and his pack is starting to feel just a little bit heavy. Chan pauses to study the old map he pulls from his back pocket. He’s been walking for a little over three hours now, so he’s probably made it at least five miles, maybe six. His destination is only supposed to be a little over six miles away from the highway, so he should be getting close. 

 

With that thought, Chan pockets the map and starts walking again. He hums lightly as he walks, and plays with the straps of his backpack. It doesn’t feel like much time has passed before Chan suddenly spots a building in the distance, partially hidden by the foliage. 

 

With an excited noise in the back of his throat, Chan picks up his pace. The building is revealed to him slowly as he passes trees and boulders, and it’s much bigger than he thought it would be. The old, gray, stone structure is only two floors, but it spreads out wide and is so long he can’t see the back corner. The middle of the building above the main entrance is raised in a dome. Chan approaches the door and pauses to take off his backpack and retrieve the camera from inside. 

 

He fiddles with the settings for a moment, then raises the viewfinder to his eye to take a test shot. He examines the picture, adjusts a setting, then picks his backpack up and pushes forward.

 

The wooden door creaks like it would in a horror movie, which is a little cliche, in his opinion. He smiles faintly as the sound echoes through the air, used to the noise. Most places he goes have at least one creaking door. 

 

Chan enters with careful steps, unsure about how solid the wooden floor is. There are chunks of ceiling strewn around the entrance, and the sun streams in from the holes the debris created. Chan sneezes twice, then wipes his nose on his sleeve and steps further into the building.

 

From his research, Chan found that this was a laboratory, dealing with some pretty unethical things. It was shut down more than half a century ago. The town about twenty miles away found out about what went on behind these stone walls and rioted. He couldn’t find much on what exactly they did here, but he knew they used live humans in experiments. Chan shivers at the thought of what used to go on here.

 

He snaps a few pictures of the domed entrance, then moves on down a hall off to the left. It’s sadly uninteresting, just a bunch of mostly untouched offices. He gets a few nice shots of some plants coming up from the rotting floor in one room, but leaves fairly quickly. 

 

The right wing turns out to be much the same, though there is what appears to be a conference room, a cafeteria, and a break room. The kitchen attached to the cafeteria puts out a putrid smell that Chan doesn’t dare get closer to. One thing that is almost always the same everywhere he’s explored is that people seem to have left in a hurry. There are lunch trays still sitting on tables, bags still placed neatly on the floor next to desks. There are jackets still thrown over the back of chair and hanging on hooks.

 

It’s odd. Sure, Chan has been to abandoned sites where there are still remnants of the life that was once there, but this place is surprisingly intact, apart from the ceiling in the entrance. It looks like people could still work here. For the first time in a long time, Chan feels vaguely unsafe. 

 

Trying to go upstairs proves fruitless. The only staircase in the entrance of the building got destroyed by a large chunk of the ceiling, and the elevators probably stopped working decades ago. It’s disappointing, but not surprising. Chan pouts for a moment as he accepts this, then sighs and heads for the last hallway; the one going straight back. 

 

The hallway is rather dark, seeing as the walls are flanked by the left and right wings of the building. There are no windows, but the light from behind him and whatever is in front of him illuminate the area just enough to navigate through. The end of the hall opens up to a larger hallway with rows metal doors on both sides. Chan peaks into the first on he can open, and realizes that these are the labs.

 

The first room he steps into looks fairly normal; or, at least, what Chan would think is normal for a lab. There’s hooks next to the door with lab coats and safety goggles hung on them, counters lining the perimeter, and metal tables bolted to the floor in the middle of the room. Rusted tech sits in glass front cabinets on the walls, and glass beakers are broken and scattered on the countertops and floor. There aren’t any windows in this room, either, but Chan figures that he’s out from under the second story, because the ceiling has cracks that let in a little sunlight.

 

Still, the room is rather dark, so Chan adjusts some settings on his camera again before snapping some pictures. He’s careful not to step on too much glass as he moves around the room, but his shoe still feels uneven when he steps back into the hallway. After picking out a good sized shard of glass from the rubber sole of his hiking boots, he keeps heading to the end of the hallway, checking doors along the way.

 

Almost all of the doors he comes across are stuck shut, but the last one opens so easily that Chan nearing trips. He curses quietly to himself and tries to calm his heart rate before looking around the room. Like the last room, there are counters around the edge of the room with cabinets full of science junk, but what Chan’s eyes stay stuck to is the center of the room.

 

In the center of the room is what looks to be a metal operating table without any padding. Attached to it are thick leather straps with buckles that hang down from the sides at the bottom, middle, and top of the table. 

 

Chan stares wide-eyed at it for what feels like a long time. He thinks about the little bit of history he knows of this place, and wonders what horrors went on here. He takes a shaky step closer to the table, then notices the stains on it and the floor. The stains are a brown color, but Chan knows what they are. He swallows a lump in his throat and feels tears burn in the back of his eyes.

 

He’s been to many, many abandoned places to take pictures for his blog. He’s been to amusements parks and hotels and hospitals and even whole neighborhoods, but he’s never been to a laboratory like this. Never to a place with such a cruel, largely unknown past. Sure, the hospitals had been rather morbid and sad, a lot with histories of abuse from nurses and doctors, but this feels different. This feels sinister and evil in a way other places haven’t. Chan wants to leave.

 

He takes a step back towards the door, about to turn around, when he notices something. There’s a break in the counters on the far side of the room, leaving room for a door. A door that seems to have yellow, artificial light seeping from the crack underneath. 

 

Chan blinks a few times, then furrows his brows. There shouldn't be any electricity out here anymore, at least that’s what Chan thought. But now he wants to know what’s making the light. 

 

As he makes his way towards the door with careful steps, he’s struck with a feeling that this is an important moment. There are two paths ahead of him. On one path, he retreats and leaves the building, hikes down to his car, and drives back home. On the other path, there is the door, and the light. And that’s it. He doesn’t know what’s down this path that he’s choosing, he doesn’t have the certainty of knowing what’s about to happen. It could be nothing, it could be everything. The thought terrifies him.

 

With a slightly shaky hand, Chan reaches for the handle and slowly pulls the door open. He’s met with lights that hurts his eyes for a moment, but when they adjust, he can see a staircase, leading down. There’s a harsh yellow light embedded in the ceiling, brightening the way. Chan takes a deep breath, then starts down the stairs. 

 

The stairs feel like they go on for way too long, and the uneasy feeling Chan has settles deeper in his stomach. When he finally reaches the bottom, there’s a hallway that goes to the left. He peeks his head around the corner, but all he can see is a large metal door. He approaches with what could be considered too much caution, but he’d rather be safe than sorry.

 

Just as he puts his hand on the handle to open the door, he’s struck by another thought. A thought he probably should have had at the top of the stairs. What if he’s not alone? What if this isn’t just some fluke that this place still gets electricity, what if there’s someone down here? What if they’re dangerous?

 

Chan’s heart kicks up in his chest, and he seriously debates turning around and running for his life. But… he has always been a tad too curious, and he’s come this far already. Plus, it doesn’t sound like anyone is moving around in whatever room lies beyond the door. He’s also fairly confident in his ability to fight off anyone that comes at him.

 

So, with a steady, deep breath, he pushes the door open. What greets him looks a lot like the first lab upstairs, but bigger, newer, and cleaner. The lighting is low and colored green, shining from inside pods filled with bubbling green fluid that look straight out of a scifi movie. The pods line the left wall, along with some glass cages containing sleeping animals, while the back and right walls are taken up by counters and a messy desk. But in the middle of the room, there appears to be a… pool?

 

Chan takes a step closer to it and sees that it is indeed a small above-ground pool. The walls of it are made of thick blue plastic, and what looks like a filtration system is hooked up to the side of it. With hesitant steps, Chan approaches the pool, curious as to what could be inside.

 

He pauses before he peers over the edge, though. Does he really want to see this? Whatever it is can’t be good. By now he’s sure that someone is still using this place to conduct experiments, almost definitely illegally and unethically. Anything could be in that pool. And maybe that’s the exact reason he takes the final step and looks over the edge. 

 

Curled up at the bottom of the pool is a… person? They look humanoid, but there’s a lot that is off about them. Their skin looks so pale it’s almost translucent, and the long hair on their head is pure white. Their fingers are webbed, and their legs… Chan can’t fully tell while they’re curled up like this, but something is just  _ wrong _ about the angles of their legs. 

 

He looks back up to the creature’s face, noticing that it looks fairly normal, when he notices that they’re eyes are reflecting the faint green light, and are open. Open and looking at him. 

 

He startles so completely that he falls on his ass a few feet away from the pool. His legs feel like jelly, and his heart is beating so loud in his ears that he almost doesn’t hear the water moving. Almost.

 

Chan scrambles to stand up and back away from the pool as the creature rises from the water. His back hits a wall, and when he looks up, their eyes lock on his and Chan freezes in place. He’s breathing heavily, gulping down breaths as he stares wide-eyed at the humanoid. 

 

Nothing happens for a few seconds, then the creature moves to the edge of the pool, the sound of the water making Chan flinch. Their eyes are still locked with Chan’s as they climb from the pool and slowly approach him, only stopping when a chain attached to their ankle prevents them from coming any closer. Still, they are only about an arm’s length away from each other.

 

“Who?” The creature says, voice deep but somehow echoey. They stare at Chan with wide eyes, like they are fascinated by him. [Their eyes](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/98/f6/47/98f647ff75d1480bdf28f23602c9c589.jpg) are large and milky, almost completely white save for the slight bit of reflected green light. 

 

Chan gulps and licks his lips nervously. “I-I’m Chan. Who, um, are you?”

 

The creature tilts their head to the side, as though thinking. “Experiment F,” they seem to settle on. The creature moves to take another step, but is yanked back by the chain on their ankle. They hiss quietly and look down at their foot, which Chan now notices they aren’t putting much weight on, and the skin around the chain looks raw and red.

 

Chan’s eyes stay locked on their ankle even when they look back at him. His eyebrows furrow, and he decides to scan the rest of the creature. They’re a little shorter than him, with long and odd looking [three jointed legs](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/4f/dc/0e/4fdc0e49548291b224838315670b76d8--area--cosplay-ideas.jpg). The next thing he notices is that they look skinny, with their ribs visible and stomach concave. Then he notices the bruising on their inner elbow, and red, irritated skin of their upper arm. The most striking thing, though, is the thick, T-shaped scar on their abdomen. It looks like they have been… cut open. Whatever this creature is, they’re clearly being mistreated.

 

He looks back up to find the creature watching him curiously. Chan worries his bottom lip, thinking deeply for a moment while observing them. They don’t seem dangerous, at least they haven’t been aggressive towards him. Again, they tilt their head slightly and blink their large eyes up at him, and Chan makes his decision. 

 

Slowly, Chan crouches down, so not to scare the creature. He reaches forward and gently touches the lock on the ankle cuff. It’s just a normal pad lock that needs a key, so Chan stands and starts looking around the room, starting at the desk.

 

“What?” The creature asks, their deep voice startling Chan. 

 

He turns to look at them over his shoulder for a second and says, “I’m looking for the keys.” He’s not having much luck on the desk, which is mostly covered in folders and loose paper. One folder catches his eye and he quickly slips in into his backpack. 

 

The creature is quiet for a while, then says, “keys? Door.”

 

“Door?” Chan asks, and immediately directs his attention to the door he came through. Sure enough, he spots a little hook with a ring of keys hanging from it. He snatches them and is back by the creature’s side in two steps. He crouches down again and gently picks up the lock, and tries the first key. It doesn’t work, but that isn’t surprising to Chan, since there looks to be about fifteen on the ring. 

 

It’s frustrating, though, as more of the keys fail to open the lock. He wants to leave as fast as possible, knowing that whoever runs this lab could be back at any moment. Finally, the third to last key slides neatly into the lock, and unlatches it with a faint  _ click _ when Chan turns it. 

 

With a gently hand, Chan wiggles the lock free and opens the ankle cuff. The creature makes a little noise in the back of their throat, almost sounding surprised. Chan tosses the cuff to the side and stands to face them again.

 

“I know we just met, and you have no reason to trust me, but will you please come with me? I don’t want to leave you here.” He says, and holds out a hand between them. 

 

The creature looks confused again. They glance around the room with nervous eyes, then takes a step closer to Chan. “What?” They ask.

 

Chan sighs and tries to pick his words carefully and simply this time. “Will you,” he says, gesturing at them, “go with,” he points to the door, “me?” He finishes, pointing to himself. 

 

This must have made more sense to them, because their mouth pops open in shock, and their eyes get wider. “Door?” They ask. “Go?” They seem almost excited now. 

 

Chan nods and smiles at them. “Yes, go. Okay?” He holds his hand out further to them. 

 

They reach forward, hesitate, then place their wet hand gently in Chan’s. Though they seem nervous, they look determined now. “Chan. Go.” They say with a quick nod. 

 

The smile on Chan’s face spreads and he curls his fingers around theirs. “Good. Let’s go.” He tugs gently on their hand, and they seem to understand as they follow him with a limp and unsure feet. 

 

Chan watches their eyes grow wider as he opens the door and tugs them through. They approach the stairs together, and the creature seems confused by them. They furrow their eyebrows and look at Chan. “What?” They ask.

 

“Stairs,” Chan replies, pointing to them. The creature still seems confused, so Chan goes up the first few steps without letting go of their hand. He exaggerates his movements slightly so they can understand, and they seem to get the idea pretty quickly. Chan joins them at the bottom again, “Go?” He asks, pointing up the stairs.

 

The creature looks concerned, but they nod. “Go. Stairs.” They say quietly to themself, and pick up their foot to take the first step. The progress up the long flight is slow, the creature often losing their balance a little and taking the steps carefully. Chan is patient with them, though his anxiety is growing the longer they take. 

 

One they reach the top, they pause. The creature looks back down the stairs and lets out a little sound of awe. “Chan!” They say, pointing down the stairs. “Stairs!” They’re smiling, letting small fangs show along with what looks like a normal set of teeth. No matter how odd they look, Chan finds himself endeared, and smiles back.

 

“Good job!” He says, squeezing their hand a little. He lets them enjoy the moment for a few seconds, then tugs gently. “Come on, we have to go,” he says softly, keeping his voice light. 

 

The creature looks up at him with a serious face, as if remembering their mission, and nods. “Chan. Go.”

 

Chan smiles again, then walks them through the lab and down the hall. When they get to the main entrance where the setting sun is still pouring through the holes in the roof, they gasp. Now, they’re the one tugging Chan further into the room, their head tilted up and mouth open. 

 

They stop once they’re in a patch of sunlight, letting out a noise of awe as they start to feel the warmth from it. “What?” They ask, looking at Chan and pointing to the hole in the ceiling. 

 

“Sun,” Chan answers simply, watching them curiously. It’s odd, seeing someone experience such basic things for the first time. Odd but incredibly special, or at least that’s how Chan feels it is. 

 

“Sun,” they repeat, tilting their head up and closing their eyes. Now that they’re in the light, Chan can see some small dark spots on their face, like freckles.

 

Though he wants to let them enjoy the sun for the first time, nerves still creep up the back of his throat, so he tugs gently on their hand. They let out a high whine, but open their eyes after a few seconds. “Go,” they say gently, still looking up. “Go. Chan. Door.” 

 

Chan doesn’t have to wait long after that for them to turn their attention to him again. He smiles at them and leads the way to the exit of the building. As they pass by the hall to the right wing of the building, Chan hears them make a small distressed noise. When he looks at them, their nose is scrunched up. Their face relaxes after a few more steps, though, and they make their way outside.

 

Again, the creature gasps in awe of what they see. It’s not a great view; all there is to see is dense forest and the old rundown road. But all of this is new to them, and every little thing must be world-changing in their eyes.

 

“What?” They ask, pointing at the closest tree. 

 

“Tree. That’s a tree,” Chan tells them as they descend the front steps. They both step down onto the forest floor and start walking, hands still clasped together, while the creature looks around.

 

Suddenly, they hiss and stop walking, lifting their foot above the ground. Chan turns to them and frowns, noticing a rock they probably stepped on. He lets go of their hand(which causes them to wobble a little) and takes off his backpack. He sets it on the ground and starts digging through it until he finds the pair of flip flops he brought just in case. 

 

“Here,” he says, and places them on the ground. Gently, he grabs their ankle and guides their foot into the shoe, then lets them press their foot back to the ground. They make a small noise as they realize it’s to protect their feet, and easily slide their other foot into the shoe. 

 

“Shoes,” Chan says before they can ask, pointing to the flip flops and then to his own hiking boots. 

 

They nod, looking down at their feet. “Shoes,” they repeat, then look up and smile at Chan, who is putting his backpack on again. Chan’s heart melts a little bit at their smile; he’s always been way too soft. Smiling back, Chan takes their hand again and starts leading them down the road.

 

A few minutes into walking, Chan gets anxious being in the open, so he carefully steers them off to the side and into the forest a few feet. The creature doesn’t seem to care or even notice, too busy looking around and absorbing their new environment. 

 

They dry off quickly as they walk, the sun and light breeze whisking away any moisture left on their skin. They start asking questions right away, mostly just “what?” repeated over and over. Chan answers all their questions as best he can, trying to keep the answers short and simple. “Bird,” he says, stopping them to point at a brown bird sitting on a bush. “Tree bark,” he answers when they run their hand over a tree and marvel at the texture.

 

It’s rather entertaining, and it makes the walk simultaneously take longer and go by quicker. The sky is painted in shades of pink and orange by the time they get back to where Chan parked his old little two-seater car. They marvel at the colors above them as Chan tugs them around to the passenger side of the car. He lets go of their hand to put his backpack in the trunk, then turns back to where they are watching the car with curiosity and caution. 

 

“Car,” Chan says as they open their mouth. They repeat the word to themself, as they have most words Chan has taught them. He unlocks the car and opens the door for them, which causes them to jump back a few feet. They look between Chan and the car with wide eyes, hesitant to approach. 

 

“It’s okay,” Chan says gently, reaching for their hand again. They let him take it and step closer to the car. Chan sits down in the seat and pulls his legs in to show them, then gets out and steps aside.

 

They still seem scared, but they must trust Chan a fair deal by now, because they slowly sit on the seat and pull their legs in. Their legs cram awkwardly into the foot space, angled oddly. Chan hums and reaches under the seat to push it back to give them more room, which scares them, but they relax when Chan smiles at them. Next, he pulls the seat belt around them. They don’t complain as he buckles them in, but they make a noise of discomfort as the material of the seatbelt chafes against their bare skin.

 

He closes the door as quietly as he can and jogs over to the driver’s side. Once he’s settled in his seat, he looks over at the creature in his car. They’re looking around curiously, but seem afraid to touch anything, as they keep their hands clasped in their lap. 

 

“Ready to go?” Chan asks, and they look at him and nod. Chan braces himself for their reaction as he turns on the engine, and they startle, gripping the door handle. They seem to get used to the rumble pretty quickly, though, relaxing as the vibrations move through their seat. 

 

They turn to Chan and smile, like they’re proud of something. Chan’s confused at first, but then he hears it. It’s similar to the rumble of the engine, but the purr coming from the creature has a distinct echoey sound to it. Chan finds himself smiling back, charmed by the creature and their oddities. 

 

As the car starts to move, they grip onto the door handle and look around with wide eyes. “It’s okay,” Chan reassures them, keeping his eyes forward but reaching over to offer his hand. They thread their fingers through his and grip tightly. Neither of them talk.

 

As the sun sinks further into the horizon, they make their way down the quickly darkening road towards the city. Chan flips the headlights on and glances at the creature, who seems to actually be asleep. Their grip is still tight on Chan’s hand, but their jaw is slack, and their eyes are twitching under their eyelids. Chan smiles softly and turns his attention back to driving.

 

When they reach Chan’s small rental home, it’s well past midnight. The creature has been asleep the whole drive, and Chan almost feel guilty waking them. They’ve had a lot of excitement today. Still, he needs to get them inside, so he gently untangles his hand from theirs and shakes their shoulder.

 

“Hey,” he whispers, trying not to startle them. “Come on, wake up.” 

 

They stir, smacking their lips a few times and blinking their eyes open. They look at Chan for a moment, then their eyes go wide and they sit up straight in their seat.

 

“Chan?” They ask, watching him with wide eyes. Their hand goes down to their ankle that had the cuff around it, and they make a strangled little sound when they realize the cuff isn’t there. To Chan’s surprise, their eyes start watering and their bottom lip wobbles. “Chan,” they say again, this time in a hoarse whisper. They look like they want to say more, but they lack the words needed to express their feelings. Instead, they break down in sobs and bury their head in their hands.

 

Chan’s heart breaks at the sight, immediately moving to comfort them. “Shh, shh, it’s okay,” he whispers gently, placing a hand on their back and moving it in slow, soothing circles. “It’s all okay,” he tells them. 

 

They pull their head from their hands and look at him again. Their lips are wobbly, but they curl up like they’re trying to smile at him. Chan’s already soft heart melts a little more, and he can’t resist pulling them into a loose hug. Their arms wrap around him and grip tightly onto the back of his shirt as they tuck their head between his neck and shoulder.

 

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay,” he says as he rocks them softly. He’s not sure why the pet name slipped out, but it felt right. He needs something to call them, especially in a moment like this, and a term of endearment fit the need.

 

They calm down slowly as Chan whispers to them, sobbs turning into little whimpers. Eventually, they pull back and rub their eyes with their hands. “Okay?” Chan asks them, and this time they manage a small, real smile and nod their head. 

 

“Okay,” they repeat, their voice cracking. 

 

“Good,” he says, then undoes both of their seatbelts. “Let’s go inside,” he says, popping open his door and standing. He hurries around to the other side of the car and opens their door for them, holding out a hand for them to take as they stand. Their hands are clasped as he gets his backpack from the trunk and they make their way up the front steps to Chan’s condo.

 

His home is fairly small, just a one story blue bungalow. It’d on the outskirts of the city, but still close enough to walk to the grocery store and restaurants. The front door opens to a dark entryway, but Chan finds the lightswitch with familiar movements and fills the room with light.

The entry is a short hallway that opens up to the kitchen and living room on the right. The kitchen is small but functional, and has a short island with two barstools under it in lieu of a dining table. Most of the space in the living room is taken up by a large L shaped couch that’s really too big for the room it’s in. Across from the couch is a TV, and past both is a glass double door leading out onto a small deck in an equally small yard.

 

Once the front door is closed behind them and their shoes are off, Chan goes to drop his backpack on the couch. They trail behind him, their feet slapping on the tile as they walk. When Chan turns to them, they’re shivering and curled in on themself, with shoulders hunched and hand pulled up in front of their chest. They look on high alert as their eyes dart around the room.

 

“Hey,” Chan says softly, trying not to startle them. Their eyes jump back to him as he squeezes their hand in his. “It’s okay, you’re safe here,” he tries reassuring them.

 

They blink owlishly at him a few times. “Safe,” they repeat. Chan can’t tell if they understand what the word means or not, so he just nods.

 

He smiles at them and gently tugs them down the hall to the bathroom. He flips on the light and they step in together. He feels them go ridged beside him and turns to see them staring at themself in the mirror. 

 

They glance at him briefly, then lean closer to the mirror, inspecting their face. Their hands come up to trace over the freckles on their cheeks, then glide up to rest just under their eyes. One hand reaches up to touch their hair, which hangs in their face. They look at Chan and they seem… sad. He knows they can’t express their emotions and thoughts though words, so Chan just smiles kindly at them.  

 

“Let’s get you clean, yeah?” He says, and pulls back the curtain to the shower, then turns it on. He hears them gasp behind him, but focuses on getting the water to an acceptable temperature.

 

“What?” They ask, their curiosity breaking through their sadness and confusion. 

 

Chan looks over his shoulder at them and points to the shower head. “Shower,” he says, then cups his hand so some water collects in it. He brings his hand to them, “water.” Softly, he tugs them closer to the shower and brings their clasped hands under the spray. “Warm,” he says, tapping the back of their hand. Their mouth hangs open as they take in the new information, staring at the water with fascination.

 

“Shower,” they say, pointing at the shower head, “water,” they point at the spray, “warm,” they bring their hand clasped with Chan’s back under the water. Their eyes find Chan’s again and they smile shyly.

 

Chan smiles back widely. “Very good!” He says, then steps aside. Carefully, he guides them closer to the shower. “Go?” He asks, pointing into the shower.

 

They stare at him for a moment, then eye the shower wearily. They seem to debate for a moment, then they nod. “Okay,” they say, their voice coming out small.

 

They don’t let go of Chan’s hand as they step into the spray, but gasp once they’re under the warm water. It must feel nice, because they exclaim, “Chan!” And look at him with wide eyes and a smile. “Warm!”

 

Chan laughs a little, endeared by their wonder. He helps them through the motions of a shower, pointing out the soap and shampoo, among other things. He explains the smells the best he can, and though it seems to confuse them, they nod along. They seem to really enjoy the experience judging by the way they’re reluctant to leave the warmth. 

 

As soon as he shuts off the water, Chan wraps them in a big, fluffy towel. They stand still in the tub as Chan dries them, and smile widely when he’s done drying their hair. They run their hand through their hair and marvel at the smooth texture of it.

 

“Alright, let’s get you some clothes,” Chan says, mostly to himself. He leads them all the way down the hall to his bedroom, where he starts rummaging through his closet while they stand awkwardly by his bed. 

 

Eventually, Chan settles on some basketball shorts and a large hoodie. He shows them to the creature, and they run their hands along the different materials with interest. Chan helps them put on the shorts first, after telling them what they are. It’s a little bit difficult because of the angles of their three-jointed legs, but they manage. The hoodie is a lot easier, and it dwarf their smaller frame once it’s on. Honestly, it’s pretty cute. 

 

Chan huffs a sigh once they’re dressed. This day has been so stressful, and he really just wants to go to bed, but he knows they both need something to eat. So, he takes their hand again and leads them back to the kitchen. 

 

He pulls out one of the stools at the island for them to sit, which they do, eyeing him curiously. “What do you eat I wonder,” Chan mummers to himself, pulling open his fridge and looking around. He enjoys cooking, so he has a decent amount of ingredients, but he really doesn’t want to make anything complicated right now. 

 

He settles for scrambled eggs and toast. The process of making the eggs and toasting the bread goes quickly, and Chan can feel their eyes on him the whole time. He successfully tries not to look back at them and get distracted, and only turns around when he has two plates full of eggs and buttered toast.

 

When he places the plate down in front of them, they look confused, and watch curiously as he sets a fork down next to their plate. “Food,” Chan says, gesturing to the plate. They seem to know that word as they perk up and look down at their plate. The poke at the eggs, jerking their finger back when they feel how hot they are.

 

“Warm,” they say, looking at Chan with wide eyes. 

 

Chan smiles at them. “Hot,” he replies, poking at his own eggs with his fork. The creature watches him use the fork to scoop up some eggs and bring them to his mouth. They eye their own fork, then pick it up and examine it.

 

Chan watches them as he eats. They hold the fork like a toddler would, but they manage to get a bit of egg on it. They smile proudly at him and bring the food to their mouth, making a delighted humming noise as they chew. They go for the toast next, picking it up with their hand like saw Chan do and bringing it to their nose to sniff it. The smell of butter and bread seems to please them as they excitedly take a big bite.

 

Their cheeks puff out from the food shoved in their mouth, and Chan nearly chokes on some eggs as he laughs softly at them. They look at him with worried eyes, but Chan waves them off and smiles. “Cute,” he says when they smile back at him around their food.

 

Both of them finish their food quickly after that, the creature ditching the fork half way through and just scooping the eggs up with their fingers and some toast. Chan puts the dishes in the sink to be washed tomorrow and yawns, causing the creature to yawn too. “Tired?” Chan asks, rounding the island to stand next to them. Their eyelids droop as they watch him, and they come easily when Chan pulls them up by the hand. “Time for bed.”

 

Chan leads the way down the hall to his bedroom and over to the bed. He pulls the blankets back and moves to the side, gently guiding the half asleep creature onto the mattress. Their eyes are mostly closed and they have a content smile on their face, then they start to purr again as Chan pulls the covers up and they sink further into the sheets. Their hand is still tangled with his, and when he tries to pull away, their grip only gets tighter. 

 

“Chan,” they say sleepily, blinking their eyes up slowly at him. “Sleep,” they say, and Chan is only somewhat surprised they know that word. 

 

“I will,” he tells them, “I’m going to go sleep on the couch, okay?” He asks, pointing to the door. 

 

Their eyebrows furrow as they try to make sense of the sentence, and they must understand a little, because they tug gently on his hand. “No,” they say. “Sleep.” They scoot over in the bed, pulling him along with them. He has to put a knee up on the bed to avoid falling on it.

 

“Okay,” he relents, “but let me shower first,” he says, and he knows they recognize enough of the sentence to understand. They nod and their fingers go lax around his hand. “Be right back,” he says, quickly grabbing a change of clothes and heading to the bathroom. 

 

Taking a shower after such a long and eventful day feels like heaven. The hot water helps loosen up his tense muscles, and getting all the sweat washed off of him relaxes him. He doesn’t dottle, though, going through the motions rather quickly and heading back to the bedroom in less than ten minutes. 

 

When he enters, the creature in his bed lifts their head slightly and blinks slowly a few times. “Chan,” they mummer, voice heavy with sleep.

 

“I’m here,” he replies, pulling back the blankets and laying down beside them. They aren’t touching each other, but they’re close enough to feel the other’s body heat. They start purring softly, the noise strangely comforting. “Goodnight,” Chan says as he turns off the bedside lamp. The room goes dark, and they both fall asleep within seconds.


	2. I went to an abandoned lab and all I got was this humanoid creature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. here this is. 
> 
> Note: Chan talks about gender in this chapter, and i tried to handle it the best i could, but if it's offensive or poorly worded, let me know, yeah? the last thing i wanna do is offend anyone. but like please be nice to me i cry easily.
> 
> also people mostly want romance for this it seems, but there isn't really any in this chapter. sorry ;-; but hey this is going to be a lot longer than i thought so we got plenty of time!

Chan wakes later than he’s used to. But, to be fair, he did have an eventful day followed by a  really late night. Still, when he wakes, the creature is sound asleep next to him. They make a little hum noise as they breath out, and their mouth is hanging open. Chan smiles at them, but doesn’t linger or wake them up. He has something he wants to do.

 

He makes his way to the living room, where he left his backpack last night. He sits on his favorite spot on the couch(right in the corner of the L) and pulls his pack next to him. As soon as he unzips it, he sees the file he took from the desk in the lab, tucked safely along the back. His curiosity is overflowing as he pulls it out and examines it.

 

It’s labeled  _ ‘Experiment F’  _ in neat writing on the front. The file itself is fairly thick, with loose papers sticking out of the sides. Chan places it on his crossed legs and opens the cover. What greets him is what looks like a basic information sheet. It’s slightly yellowed and crumpled.

 

_ Experiment F _

_ Experiment Start: March 25th, 2000 _

_ Hatch Date: September 15th, 2000 _

 

_ Specimen Gender: M _

_ Weight: 7.9 lbs _

 

_ Notes: _

_ Specimen hatches at 10:32 PM and opens eyes. It does not cry. Specimen is pale with nearly translucent hair and what looks like pupiless eyes. Upon closer inspection, the eyes reflect when exposed to light. Specimen can see and hear normally.  _

 

Chan skims through the rest of the notes, finding nothing of too much interest. It’s mainly just a description of what they- or he?- looked like as a baby, and their health. There’s a loose photo on top of the page, too. It’s a baby picture, but not necessarily a cute one. Sure, the baby is cute, if you find odd humanoids cute, but the background is harsh, with them placed on a gray metal table and gloved hands holding them still. It makes Chan’s stomach churn a little, so he flips the photo over and goes to the next page.

 

The next page looks like notes from the very beginning of the ‘experiment’. The handwriting is messy and disorganized, written at various angles and with crude drawings here and there. The drawings look like science stuff Chan couldn’t begin to understand, so he focuses on the writing, reading the bits a pieces.

 

_ start with the human DNA- _

 

_ need to add less feline this time- _

 

_ albino boa constrictor, see if it changes color outcome- _

 

_ frog-toad?-frog added to the- _

 

_ need a fish for gills, betta fish should work- _

 

Chan stops reading. It’s… a lot. A lot to take in. So, they are part human, that’s for sure. But they’re a mixture of a bunch of other animals, too? And the animals seem to be chosen at random, or, if there is a pattern, Chan can’t see it. He flips to the next page.

 

This page details their growth in a… test tube? Beaker? Chan can’t tell, the picture paper clipped to the page just shows a glass container filled with a green fluid and a vague and small human shape inside. The notes are mostly science jargon that is foreign to Chan, so he skips to the next page. 

 

He flips through a few more pages of confusing words and drawings, then he gets to a page that actually interests him. It’s a small piece of paper tucked in between the others that has ‘ _ DIET _ ’ written on the top in big letters.

 

_ DIET _

 

_ -all meats except shellfish(human allergy?) _

_ -eggs _

_ -grain in moderation _

_ -little dairy _

_ -vegetables and fruit fine, not necessary _

_ -no beans, nuts, etc. _

 

Chan feels relieved that what he feed them last night was okay for them to eat. It’s handy knowing what they can’t eat, so he sets the paper off to the side. He flips through more pages about their growth and development, a few photos catching his eye. All of the pictures are awful to look at, though Chan forces himself to pause at each one.

 

There’s one of them as a child(maybe 10?) strapped down to an operating table with an oxygen mask over their face. There are a bunch of close ups of their legs bending in all sorts of ways. He comes across one he finds equally surprising and interesting. It’s a picture of their face in profile, but their jaw is… unhinged? Their mouth looks like that of a snake, open wider than a human could possibly open their mouth. This one doesn’t seem cruel, but it’s interesting. Chan studies it longer than he had the others before moving on. Next, a picture of them locked in a tank of water, looking panicked. Chan grimaces. There are some close up pictures of their eyes, mostly with a bright light shining into them. Another of them strapped to an operating table, though this time they look full grown.

 

The photographs make Chan feel sicker and sicker the more he looks, but there’s one that makes him do a double take and gasp. It’s a small stack of pictures, detailing the steps of what can only be described as a dissection. They’re not dead, obviously, but it looks like whoever did this took them apart as much as they could, taking pictures of every step and organ along the way. Chan feels bile rushing up his throat, but quickly takes a swig of water from the bottle in his backpack to push it back down. Chan slots the pictures back into the file and quickly moves on.

 

Though it’s morbid, the file is incredibly interesting. It’s like a recording of their whole life, and Chan can see them age through the notes and pictures as he flips through the pages. He’s almost to the end of the file when he starts to notice the lists. Most of the words he doesn’t recognize, but it’s when he gets to the last list that names every type of flu that he understands. 

 

Chan thinks back to their physical state. How thin they were, how red a sore their upper arm was. His stomach sinks when he realizes that these lists are of diseases and sicknesses, and that they were most likely tested on them.

 

He flips back a few pages to other lists he didn’t understand and googles some of the names on his phone. They are illnesses he’s never heard of, all organized into categories with small check marks next to some and X’s next to others. The only thing he finds that every item on every list has in common is that it has to be something that can be medically induced, infectious, or transferred through blood.

 

Everything is marked except for the last one on the flu list, influenza D. He quickly searches it on his phone and relaxes slightly when he reads up on it and sees that it doesn’t infect humans. 

 

Still, Chan feels physically ill from all he’s seen and read. He closes the file and slips it back into his backpack, only keeping the piece of paper with their diet out. He lets himself just sit and think for a while, processing everything.

 

There are a few things Chan knows for sure now. He knows they are part human mixed with various other animals. He knows they were created and born in the lab he found them in. He knows they were mistreated. He knows they were experimented on, and survived. He knows their birthday, and that they were assigned male. He knows their diet and new things about how they work physically. 

 

Then, there are things Chan can only guess at. The file is labeled  _ ‘Experiment F’ _ , which leads Chan to believe they aren’t the first creature to be created like this. He can guess that the others were failures in one way or another, and that ‘F’ was the first success. He assumes that whoever made them has been working on this for a long, long time. Whoever they are, they’re obviously very smart, but have highly questionable ethics. They probably weren’t funded or known by the government, judging by the fact that their lab was hidden in an abandoned facility. 

 

He sighs out of his nose and leans his head back on the couch. He’s really gotten himself into it now, hasn’t he? He thinks about the creature asleep in his bed, and what having them here means. He has another mouth to feed, which isn’t great for his already tight budget. He’s going to have to teach them… well, everything, it seems. Though, they do seem to be pretty smart, judging by how quickly they pick up new words and their meanings. They also seem excited to learn, which will make things easier.

 

Then there’s the issue of hiding them. Chan knows he can’t just go out around town with them; they’re different, strange, maybe even scary to some people. They would get taken away from him if anyone found out. They’d probably be taken to another lab, maybe more humane this time, but they’d still be a subject, a specimen. It’s cruel, Chan thinks, to not let them have free will. They’re smart, curious, trusting, nice. They deserve to live how they please. They deserve happiness, too.

 

Chan must have been sitting there for a while, staring up at the ceiling and thinking, because he hears them call out to him. “Chan?” They say, voice tiny and maybe a little scared. Chan gets up and goes back to his bedroom quickly, wanting to put them at ease. 

 

“Hey, I’m here,” he says as he comes into the room. They’re sitting up on the bed, their long hair sticking out in all directions and their shirt twisted around them. They rub their eyes and blink at him, then smile the most trusting, happy smile Chan thinks he’s ever seen.

 

“Chan!” They get up from the bed as quickly as they can and come up to him. They reach for his hand and lace their fingers together. Chan lets them. “Food?” They ask, and Chan huffs a small laugh. 

 

“Sure,” he replies, and tugs them along to the kitchen for breakfast.

  
  
  


 

 

Chan considers himself lucky he’s on a break, so he has a little more time to get them comfortable and settled before he has to go back to work. He was planning at least two more trips to other abandoned locations to take pictures, but he puts those on hold. He has something more important to take care of now. 

 

After they both finish eating, Chan sits down on the couch and takes out his camera and laptop. They watch him with wide eyes as he uploads the pictures he took from his camera onto his laptop and edits them. They ask what everything is along every step, which some might consider annoying, but Chan finds it fun to have someone look at his work and basic computer skills with such awe and interest. 

 

He shows them google after he’s done editing, typing in simple words they know like ‘bird’ and ‘tree’. They look at all the pictures that come up with a slack jaw, reaching out to touch the screen sometimes. They lean in so close that they block Chan’s view of the computer, even though it’s sitting on his lap. He laughs as they invade his space, and gently pushes them back. 

 

“I can’t see!” Chan says, smiling at them. They smile back just as brightly.

 

Seeing how much they seem to like the pictures of nature, Chan assumes they’d enjoy watching nature documentaries. He gently pushes them back from his laptop and closes it, which causes them to whine. 

 

“Just a second,” Chan says, turning on the TV and looking through Netflix for a good show. He chooses an episode about forests, seeing as that’s something they’re already somewhat familiar with. He looks back at them as the opening credits roll to find them pouting and looking at the laptop. “Hey,” he calls, and they look up at him. He points to the TV just as the background music for the show kicks in, and they gasp as they look at the TV as a dramatic shot of a forest appears on the screen.

 

“Chan!” They exclaim, and move from the couch to kneel in front of the TV without taking their eyes off of the screen. Chan holds back a giggle as their mouth goes slack at the sight of all the trees. They gasp when the show cuts to a shot of a deer.

 

“What?” They ask, glancing quickly back at Chan and pointing to the animal. 

 

“That’s a deer,” Chan tells them, just before the narrator of the show says nearly the same thing. Their eyes widen and their mouth forms a surprised O. 

 

They listen intently as the narrator talks about the species of deer and the habitat. Chan is sure they don’t understand most of what’s being said, but they don’t turn back to ask Chan any more questions. 

 

He smiles as he watches them for a moment, then opens his laptop again. He wants to post a few shots on his blog, but he keeps getting distracted by their little gasps every time something new shows up. It’s cute, and Chan finds himself watching their reactions once he’s done posting his pictures.

 

A family of bears shows up on the screen, and they let out a tiny coo at the babies. There are a few shots of the bears traveling through the forest, then the background music turns playful, and it shows two of the cubs wrestling and playing. It’s the first time Chan hears them laugh; a small giggle escaping their lips as they watch the cubs tumble around. Their laugh is much like their voice; deep and echoey, but also ridiculously endearing. Chan finds that he’s the one cooing, now.

 

Eventually, the show ends, and as the credits roll, they turn back and lock eyes with Chan. “Want to watch another?” He asks them with a smile.

 

They seem to understand the basics of what he’s asking, because they nod their head with enthusiasm and say, “more!”  

 

Chan laughs and starts the next episode, this one about the desert. He relaxes back into the couch and settles in. He has a feeling that they’re both going to be watching a lot of nature documentaries from now on.

  
  
  
  


 

The nightmares start on the second night. 

 

They fall asleep next to each other on Chan’s bed again, though this time they tangle their fingers with his as they settle down. Chan doesn’t mind. It seems to comfort them in some way, so he gladly holds their hand. 

 

The hand holding is what wakes him up, though. Instead of the soft grip they normally have, they’re squeezing his hand so tightly that his fingertips are numb. He instinctively tries to pull his hand away in his half asleep daze, but becomes more alert when he hears whimpering. 

 

“Hmm?” Chan hums as he turns to look at them, blinking his eyes quickly. It’s dark, but the paleness of their skin makes them easier to see, almost glowing in the faint light of the moon through the window. Their hair is spread across the pillow and the blankets have been kicked off their body. They whimper again and let out short huffs of air, their face twisted in pain. Their head tosses back and forth as they squeeze Chan’s hand tighter. Tear tracks run from the corners of their eyes down their temples and into their hair.

 

“Oh, baby,” Chan whispers, his face mirroring theirs. He reaches up his free hand to pet their hair, hoping to wake them softly. It doesn’t work, though, as their eyes shoot open as soon as Chan touches them. Their wide eyes swing around wildly before they settle on Chan’s face. 

 

“Ch-Chan,” they say, and their face crumples. 

 

“Hey, shh, shh,” Chan comforts as they start to sob. He gently pulls them into a hug, and they latch onto him, letting go of his hand to wrap both arms around his shoulders. Chan’s fingers tingle. 

 

He rubs their back and whispers reassurances to them as they cry into his shirt. They pull themselves closer to him, almost sitting in his lap, and he helps them settle. They sit there for what feels like a long time, but Chan doesn’t mind. He’s worried about the creature, and frustrated that they can’t tell him what’s wrong and what he can do to help. 

 

Eventually, their sobs turn to soft cries, which turn into sniffles. Chan pulls back slowly and reaches up to cradle their face in his hands. His eyes search their face, worried. Their eyes are red and puffy, but they give Chan a weak smile, which he returns with equal energy.

 

“Okay?” Chan asks, keeping his voice low. 

 

They nod. “Okay.”

 

“Good. Do you want to go back to sleep?” He asks as his thumb strokes their cheek. They lean into his hands and close their eyes. 

 

“Sleep,” they say, and open their eyes again. “Chan,” they say, then reach up to take one of his hands and pull it to their chest. They press Chan’s flat palm against their heart, letting him feel the slow, steady beat. Their eyes meet Chan’s, and they have a silent moment together, neither saying anything. There’s nothing that can be said.

 

Slowly, they pull away and lay back down. Chan follows them, settling back onto his pillow. They scoot closer to him, though, so their sides press together lightly. Chan holds open his hand, and they take it loosely in theirs. They both turn their heads to look at one another, and Chan smiles. 

 

“Sleep now,” he whispers. They nod and relax into his side, letting their eyes slip closed. Chan watches them for a moment before he follows their lead, and falls back to sleep.

  
  
  
  


 

For the first few days, they stick to his side like glue unless they’re watching TV. They follow him around the house like a shadow, but Chan doesn’t mind too much, except for when he needs to shower or use the bathroom.

 

Most of their time together is spent getting them used to the outside world. Chan is constantly telling them the names of different objects and showing them how to do things. How to turn on the sink, how to brush their teeth and hair, how to make the bed. He helps them shower, but they learn pretty quickly and are able to do it on their own after a few times. 

 

Since they’re in the process of learning how to talk, Chan gets in the habit of talking a lot. He narrates what he’s doing almost all the time, and will sometimes get asked what a certain word means. It’s really interesting, see how their vocabulary widens every day, how their sentences quickly become full and complete. It’s amazing to Chan how fast they learn. Within a few days, they’re able to hold basic conversations. Chan is more than a little impressed.

 

“How about we try watching something new?” Chan asks one day, more than half a week since they met. 

 

“Something new?” They ask. The idea seems to confuse them, even though they know the meanings of the words. Their eyebrows are furrowed as they tilt their head at Chan. “There are other things to watch?”

 

Chan lets out a startled laugh, but nods. “Yeah, there are a lot of different shows. Most of them have people in them.” 

 

“Oh,” they say, drawing out the sound as they think. “Why?”

 

Chan can’t help the amused smile that stretches across his face. They really are cute. “People like to watch different things. Some of the shows are funny, some are scary, some are serious. There are a lot of options.” Chan explains. 

 

They take a moment to process what Chan told them. “Okay,” they say eventually, “we can watch something new.”

 

“Great!” Chan smiles at them, happy that they’re willing to try something other than nature shows. He puts on an old sitcom he used to watch and settles on the couch. They eye the screen for a moment from their position on the floor in front of the TV, then move to sit on the couch, curling up to Chan’s side. 

 

Chan glances at them periodically as the show progresses. Their nose scrunches up as they watch, and they narrow their eyes at the TV. They don’t laugh at any of the jokes; if anything, the laugh track in the show just makes them furrow their brow. 

 

Once they show is over and the credits roll, they turn to Chan. “I tried,” they say. “Nature shows now?”

 

Chan can’t say he’s surprised, but he still huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, sure, back to nature shows.”

  
  
  
  


 

It’s only a few days later that Chan brings up an idea he’s had for a while as they’re eating lunch.

 

“Hey,” he says, taking their attention away from the piece of chicken in front of them. They’re using their hands to tear off chunks to eat. Though their vocabulary and conversational skills have gotten so much better, their skills with a fork and knife haven’t. 

 

“Hm?” They hum, looking up at him with a full mouth. 

 

“Do you want to pick a name for yourself?” He asks, watching as they take a moment to process the sentence in their brain. 

 

“Name?” They ask.

 

“Chan,” he says, pointing to himself. “That’s my name.”

 

That seems to clear things up for them, as their mouth pops open in a little ‘o’. “I don’t have a name,” they say, and Chan nods.

 

“Would you like one?” He asks.

 

They tilt their head and think for a moment. “Yes, I think so,” they say. “But… all I know is Chan.” 

 

“We can look for some other ones online,” Chan offers with a smile.

 

They nod and smile back. “Okay,” they glance down at their half full plate. “Chicken first.”

 

Chan laughs and returns to his sandwich. “Of course, chicken first.”

  
  
  


Once they’re both done with lunch, they settle on the couch together with Chan’s laptop. Chan searches for a list of names, eventually settling for one of the many baby names sites. There are… a lot of pages of names. Chan doesn’t know where to start. They watch him scroll through the names curiously, but Chan quickly realizes they need to narrow down the search. So, he lowers the screen and turns to them.

 

“Do you… Are you-” he tries. He really doesn’t know how to ask this question. He huffs and runs his hand through his hair and decides to just get it out there. “Are you male or female?” He asks, already knowing he’s going to get a confused response. 

 

“What?” They ask, with eyebrows furrowed. 

 

“Um, so, there’s this thing called gender,” he pauses and they nod for him to continue. “I-It’s kind of confusing, or it can be, I guess. Basically, there’s females and males. Or girls and boys, women and men. You’ve seen them on TV, the ones in the show with the long hair are women, and the short haired ones are men. Hair doesn’t really matter, though,” he finishes with a mumble, eyeing their long hair. 

 

Chan clears his throat, “anyway, they typically have different, um, parts than each other. They each have their own set of names, with some that can be both.” They’re watching him closely as he explains, trying to understand what he’s saying. “So I’m asking which you are?” 

 

They’re silent for a moment. “What are the different parts?” They ask, and Chan silently curses himself for even bringing this up, even though he knew he would have to eventually. 

 

Keeping his lips sealed, Chan opens up a new tab and searches ‘male vs female anatomy’. He clicks over to the images and tries to pick the least confusing picture. They observe the screen for a minute, and Chan can feel his face heating up. 

 

“You are male?” They ask, and Chan nods but doesn’t look at them. 

 

“Males have the-,” they start, then cut off and bring their closed hand up, letting one finger dangle. “That?” 

 

Chan chokes on his spit a little and lets out a surprised laugh. “Mostly, yeah” he confirms. 

 

“I am male,” they say, nodding to themself. 

 

“Well, um, first, I want to tell you that you don’t have to be what those parts are. So, uh, if you don’t feel like that’s right, you can be the other, or neither, or both. It’s what you feel is right.” Chan tries to explain, hoping they understand the words he used. It’s hard, trying to explain something complex with as simple of language as he can. 

 

They sit back and look away from the computer, letting the information sink in. “I can be female?” They ask, looking to Chan.

 

He nods, “if that’s what you think you are.” 

 

They hum and look down at their lap, where they play with the hem of their shorts. Eventually, they speak again. “My body is male, and I think it is right.”

 

Chan smiles at them- him. “Okay. You can always change your mind later, when you know more,” he tells him.

 

He nods and smiles at Chan. “Yes. Thank you.”

 

Chan grins back, “of course. Now, let’s find you a name.”

 

They start at the beginning of the alphabet, and only get half way through B when it becomes annoying. “Is ‘F’ a letter?” The creature asks suddenly, looking away from the screen to lock eyes with Chan.

 

“It is,” Chan confirms, and makes a mental note that he really should teach them the alphabet at some point. 

 

“Can my name start with F?” 

 

Chan smiles at the idea. “Sure,” he says, and clicks on the F section of the website, “I think that’s perfect.” Chan’s pretty sure they know what ‘perfect’ means.

 

He doesn’t ask for the meaning of the word, though. They just hum and turn back to the screen, even though he can’t read. Chan begins reading out the names to him, and he gets little to no response until about twenty names in. 

 

“Wait!” He says, when Chan is halfway through reading the next name.

 

“What? Did you like that one?” Chan asks, looking back at the last name he read. “Felix?”

 

He nods, eyes wide and mouth pulled into a smile. “I like how it sounds! Ffff-eee-lix,” he repeats.

 

“Do you want that to be your name? Are you sure?” Chan looks back at the page, scrolling down. There are a ton more F names. 

 

“Yes,” he says. “It… feels, um,” he says, and places his hand over his chest. “It feels good.”

 

“Okay,” Chan relents. “Felix it is, then!”

 

The newly named Felix beams at him and grabs his hand. “I have a name!” He says, squeezing Chan’s fingers between his. Chan squeezes back, smiling just as wide. 

  
  
  
  
  


They’re running low on food, and Chan knows he has to make a run to the grocery store. Felix is still clingy, less so the past day or two, but Chan knows he’s going to have a hard time with him leaving. Chan sighs and closes the fridge, preparing to explain to Felix that he has to leave. 

 

“Hey, Felix?” Chan calls, walking into the living room. Felix is sitting on the floor right in front of the TV, leaned in close to watch the nature documentary Chan put on. 

 

“Hmm?” Felix hums, not taking his eyes off the TV. He lets out a small gasp as a bird dives into the ocean to catch a fish. 

 

Chan smiles at him and goes to pause the show. They’ve been watching a lot of different shows together recently, once Chan convinced him to give other shows another shot. But Felix only seems to like the nature shows. Maybe it’s because he still can’t understand everything said in sitcoms. Maybe Felix just really likes animals. Chan isn’t sure. 

 

The picture on the TV freezes and Felix lets out a little whine and turns to Chan. “Why did you pause it?” He asks, his lower lip jutting out in a pout. 

 

Chan chuckles and sits down next to him on the floor. “I just need to tell you something,” Chan says, and Felix turns his body so they’re sitting facing each other. His attention is wholly on Chan now. “So, we don’t have much food left. I need to leave and go to the store to get more. Will you be okay here by yourself?”

 

Felix nods, but hunches forward, head turned down, and picks at the carpet. “I can’t go with you?” He asks quietly. 

 

Chan sighs. “No, I’m sorry, you can’t.” They sit in silence for a moment. Chan thought Felix would be more vocal about not wanting him to leave, but he’s being oddly quiet. 

 

“Is it because of how I look?” Felix asks eventually. His voice is still soft, his head still hanging. He pulls harder at a piece of carpet. 

 

“Oh,” Chan gasps softly. He wasn’t expecting that. He knows Felix knows that he’s… different. But they’ve never talked about it before. The creature never brought it up, and Chan didn’t want to initiate that conversation. “Um, yeah I guess it is,” Chan says awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck and looking away. 

 

“I am not normal, and I look scary,” Felix says, sure of his statement. A thread of the carpet pulls free between his fingers. 

 

Chan is quiet for a moment, thinking. He knows he has to be honest with Felix, but it still feels wrong. “Yes,” Chan agrees hesitantly. “But,” he adds, “that’s not a bad thing.” Felix peaks up at him from under his long hair. “You’re unique, one of a kind. You’re special, Felix, even if you’re different. No, I don’t think it’s a good idea that you go out in public, but that’s because other people are scary, not you.” Chan reaches forward and gently takes ahold of Felix’s hand. He plays with his fingers, thumbing over the slight webbing between the digits. 

 

“Other people?” He asks, watching as Chan holds one of his hands in both of his. 

 

“Yeah, other people. Felix, I’m afraid that… other people would hurt you. Or that they’d take you away,” Chan sighs and sits up a little. “I like you, Felix. I like having you here, I like talking to you and teaching you new things. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, not anymore.” Chan looks up and makes eye contact with him. “But I will still need to leave sometimes. Do you think you will be okay here by yourself?”

 

Felix blinks quickly a few times, then nods. “Yes. You will come back, right?”

 

Chan smiles a tender smile at him. “Of course, always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it! let me know what you think <3
> 
> also again my tumblr and twitter are nightynightao3 if ya wanna follow me, and i just made a cc with the same name so come bug me about this fic when i take a while to update it lol

**Author's Note:**

> so? thoughts? comments? complaints?
> 
> for real tho i need input on how far to take their relationship. should they stay platonic or eventually get a lil smoochy smooch goin? i have most of the second(and possibly last?) chapter written but i need that sweet sweet feedback to finish this story off, because it isn't going to be too long.
> 
> regardless, thanks for reading!! you can find me on tumblr and twitter @nightnightao3 and i have a strictly skz twitter @stayforthekids, which im more active on because i just love these boys so much


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